The Waiting Game!

I've been distracted and feel I need to explain a little. If Sekona reads this he will probably not be too happy with me. He doesn't like having it out there.

Everybody plays a certain type of waiting game. Kids for Christmas, getting their drivers licenses, sports, etc. Adults for good paying jobs, kids, house, etc. Sometimes we understand the waiting game and sometimes we have no idea what we are doing.

This last month has been pretty much a waiting game for me. I am trying hard to figure it out and find what I can learn from it. Early October Sekona and I found out we were pregnant. As always we pray, wait and see what happens. As it seems to be usual for me, we saw the signs of a miscarriage. Through plenty of begged Priesthood blessings and prayers accepted the answer that it wasn't to be. Still, we waited. . . . I stopped going to the gym, tried not to do anything strenous and waited. I did something I normally don't do. I declined the ultrasound and just decided to go with the blood work to see that it was finished. Again the waiting to see the test results. The nurse phoned back and to me sounded confused or at least what she was telling me was confusing. I had to take another blood test, the results were going up. So I did only the tests weren't going up like it was suppose to. The doctor suggested getting a shot to terminate anything that might be there. My first instincts were NO. So I talked the doctor into the waiting game. My tests went up, but my progestrone levels were nonexistent. The ultrasound was clean and great. I stumped my doctor. He was willing to play the waiting game again, and I had more blood tests only the results were not doing what they were suppose to do. I was told I had an ectopic pregnancy. I ended up having to have the shot. Again more waiting and more blood tests. The results dropped considerably but then went up slightly the next time. My two options were to take the shot again or have surgery. The doctor suggested the shot, take more blood work and then if that doesn't work the surgery. So we are waiting again. I find out next Wednesday what is going on. At least I hope I do. One of the priesthood blessings was for me to have my body healed so that I could keep the baby (and as always if it was the Lord's will). I guess I need to heal some.

So, I sometimes worry that we are letting life pass us by while we are waiting. I don't want that to happen. I love my life and how it is moving along, sometimes too fast for me to enjoy it. Still, I have many blessings and can't deny what has been given to me. I may never know why it is this way, but I look at my family and love everything about it. To those I normally respond to and check out, to the delayed emails I apologize. I guess I was worried it would affect how I responded.

Did I mention that I have had my car rear-ended one day (thankfully no damage) and then the next had someone back into it and put a dent where my gas tank is. It is finally all taken care of, but still a lot has been going on this month.